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An American geek has developed a systematic formula for picking up women. Calling himself The Pimply MacDaddy, this self-confessed video games and StarTrek freak claims that his techniques are the result of months and months of intensive observation and analysis into the female mind. And to prove that his techniques are the real deal, he brought along two gorgeous blondes as evidence of his immense newfound success with the fairer sex. These are my girlfriends, he bragged, I picked them up from the drycleaners yesterday...but they arent the only ones. At that, the two supermodels smiled and nodded in acknowledgment. Surreal.When asked if his successful seduction formula was targetted towards a specific group of people, the Pimply Diddy (whose real name is Neville Scudmore the Third), explained These techniques can work for anyone. You dont have to be rich, or handsome, or possess any of those alpha-male qualities to be able to get results. In fact, the more uncool you are, the bigger your advantage in manipulating these techniques for your success. Just look at me for example. Im the archetypal nerd, dork, geek, or whatever you may call it. Most women wouldnt even wanna stand behind me in a checkout counter. But when I lay on my techniques and start connecting with them...BAM....its like a truck hit them! These girls simply dont have a chance. Pretty confident stuff from a guy who never had a girlfriend till as recently as 4 months ago.A further probe into the life of this modern-day Casanova revealed some startling facts about his background. It seems the Pimp Diddy wasnt always such a ladies man. On the contrary, he was ostracized throughout most of his teenage life, by girls and guys alike, due to his unflattering physical appearance and dorky personality. During our interview, he described this stage of his life as the most painful period in my entire existence, I never felt so utterly lonely, and downright miserable. After a long phase of severe depression during which he contemplated suicide, he finally decided that he had had enough of being a loser. He was hell-bent on finding a solution to his problem. The following few months were spent observing women and relationship dynamics. Through meticulous testing and refinement of his theory, Pimp Diddy finally came up with the one-size-fits-all formula toinduce intense feelings of attraction within women. Needless to say, he immediately went around using his new weapon on all the hot women he encountered. The rest, as they say, is history.In justifying his pickup formula, our hero puts it down to simple chemistry. Attracting women, is not as enigmatic and arbitrary as most people make it out to be. It actually is an exact science, with a high degree of predictibility. As we all know, it is a scientifically proven fact that men react sexually when females emit phermones. Similarly, women are turned on when men say/do certain things, and carry themselves in a certain way. It may not be as chemically-based as female phermones, but its there nonetheless.His claims certainly sound plausible in light of recent discoveries and understanding of the human mind. In this day of instant gratification and quick fixes, Pimply MacDaddys formula for seduction and attracting women may be precisely what this generation of clueless males need. Im just afraid there might not be enough hot women to go around.
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