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By: Randy Hough

The best single parenting advice I know of is this: “It takes a village to raise a child.” Single mothers, or single fathers, have extra demands and stress placed on them. It just takes more than two hands to raise a family-it takes a village. Sometimes other people just have no idea what it is like to be alone, raising your kids.

The list is almost as endless, as it is relentless. The demands of work, house cleaning, laundry, meals, endless rides, school visits and functions, athletics, programs, doctors, dentists, friends, and on and on it goes.

Add the attempt single parents make at having a social life and you might just tip the balance over. But, we all need love and affection and friendship! Ask any single father or single mother about their social life and you are likely to get some pretty funny reactions!

So, how does this village work?
As any single father or single will quickly agree, the stresses and strains of going it alone can be monumental. At times you can feel so incredibly alone. Yet there are many things that can be done to make you job more fruitful and enjoyable. Make use of the many resources available to help.

The African proverb which says that “It takes a village to raise a child” is very true. It is foolish to try and do everything yourself and will quickly lead to burnout. There are many ways to share the burden and at the same time be a help to those who are helping you.

First, recognize that you are not alone! There are literally millions of people in similar situations and probably most of them feel as you do much of the time. It is also very important to keep the big picture in mind, so you do not get bogged down in the details of everyday.

Much can be said about our expectations and fears. It seems that both the things we hope for and fear happen to us. Be keenly aware of what you dwell on inside. Our thoughts are powerful, and have the tendency to become self-fulfilling prophecies. Remember that the thing we fear often comes upon us!

Coordinate with other parents. Take car-pooling, for instance: with some planning and communication it is usually possible to share ride-giving. Just be sure to give as well as receive. The same goes for overnight visits, trips, lessons, sports, childcare and so on.

School counselors, coaches, teachers, and business owners can also be a great help. The use of email has made keeping track of times, dates, appointments, grades, activities much easier and quick. Keep a steady line of communication open with the important people in the lives of your children.

Take time for yourself! Don’t forget that if you are not happy, you can do very little to really help your loved ones. You need to be replenished and rejuvenated in order to continue down your strenuous path. Wouldn’t it be great to meet someone who shared your dreams and values?

What about that social life?
So, what’s a single father or single mother to do? Going it alone with kids can bring you to your knees pretty quickly, not to mention the fact that there is no other adult to talk to! It is essential that single fathers and single mothers connect with another person who can give you comfort, advice and help.

The online dating network is quite extensive and it has numerous sites where you can learn a great deal and possibly even meet someone you like--alot!. I personally know several people who have met some wonderful people from the dating services.
School functions can also present many opportunities to connect with other parents, single as well as married. These days it seems that the “traditional family” is either divorced or single!

Take the time and make the effort to connect with your own village, it will help you more than you can imagine. Parenting advice is usually best when given by another parent who has been there and succeeded!

Article Source: http://www.articlebase.info

Randy Hough and other parents have worked together to create a stress-familyhealth.net>family stress website and a menopause relief web site. They live and work in the beautiful Upper Valley of Vermont.

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